Tag Archive for children

25 Oct 2010
Parenting • Teens • Tweens • Uncategorized

Parenting teens: staying close starts early.

by Jennifer Dyer

If I were to write a book about parenting teens, I would entitle it Before the Hormones Hit. From what I remember, what I have been told, and what I have observed, by the time children reach their teens much of the parenting work has been done and it’s time to reinforce.

So, start today, even if you only have little ones. Build into them. Take them out on dates. Find out what interests them and be a part of that. Go to their games and school events. Have lunch with them at school (at least when they’re in elementary–middle school might not go so well…). Play games as a family. Ride bikes together. Find a hobby you can all enjoy. Have fun. Don’t wait until later.

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12 Oct 2010
Current events • Parenting • real life • Teens

Parenting and bullies.

by Jennifer Dyer

This weekend I picked up the latest edition of People magazine because the cover story moved me: “Deadly Bullying.” The subject was already on my mind because I had just seen Ellen Degeneres’ public service announcement about teen suicides related to bullying. Joe Jonas has also taped a PSA on the subject.

Middle school and high school are one of the most difficult times in life. Not that bullying only occurs during these years, but it does seem to take on a new level of intensity. For some reason, perfectly normal kids turn into sadistic cannibals when they hit the middle school doors. Most of them recover and look back with shame on what they did. Some, sadly, get stuck in this phase, but they lose most of their power as they age.

I will be discussing this issue for the next several days and will have some guest authors speaking on the subject, as well. In addition to helping your child through bully grief, we will also include some tips about what to do when your child is the bully.

For today, remember that staying involved as a parent is one of the greatest ways to combat this issue. Providing your kids with a safe place to land, security at home, and assurance of your love and support will help. Talk to them. Find someone else, even a psychologist or a counselor for them to talk to. Share with them stories from your own past and how your dealt with them, especially the success stories. Work to keep the school involved.

Something else I have seen that helps: if the situation gets bad, and if it is possible, let your kids move schools. I changed schools between 7th and 8th grade and it was one of the best things that happened to me in middle school. A  neighbor let their daughter change schools at the same time and recently said she wonders why they didn’t do it sooner. Their daughter is a different girl this year.

Today and in the coming weeks, please share your stories, heartbreaks, victories, and any wisdom gained about this subject. Let’s work to have less lives torn apart by this issue.

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