Archive for May 31, 2012

31 May 2012
Autism • Recipes • Special Needs

Bundt cake crumbles…

by Jennifer Dyer

Snickerdoodle bundt cake

You ever have those times when you realize you need a quick dessert … NOW?

Today was one of those moments. Normally, I can pull off a bundt cake in my sleep. I’ve mastered the art of tossing ingredients into a bundt pan and having it turn out wonderful.

Mostly.

So, the other day I had some cinnamon sugar mixture left over from a batch of Snickerdoodles. What to do? I decided to see if I could make a Snickerdoodle cake. Although I can’t eat most of what I bake, I was told this one turned out delish! (That is the recipe I will share with you, BTW). It was beautiful. The top had a crisp layer of cinnamon sugar topping and the inside was moist. It smelled divine.

So, this morning I realized I wanted to give a token of thanks to the office at Rachel’s school for all the times they have helped us. They work so hard to accommodate Rachel’s specific needs, even letting us in a different door sometimes when there are too many people in the office. They have gone a long way to make school great for my little one with autism.

As I’m short on funds, I thought: I’ll bake a cake. I can get that done between both girls’ award ceremonies.

So, I thought the Snickerdoodle bundt cake was a great idea. It would have been, except I used too much cinnamon sugar, and the cake stuck to the pan. Not to be beaten (ha. ha…) by a cake, I took the top half to the school anyway and served the bottom half to the kids after school. If speed of consumption is any judge, the cake tasted fabulous. (The little sharks had it eaten almost before I set it down.)

So, all that being said, here is what I did the first time. Sorry I didn’t take a pic of that one!

Mix together:

  • 1 box yellow cake mix
  • 4 eggs (beat them with a fork before adding to cake mix)
  • 1/2 cup oil
  • 1/2 cup water
  • 1/2 cup flavored beverage. I have used rum or orange juice with this one. You could also use just one total cup of water.)
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon added with the cake mix
  • 1 box instant vanilla pudding

Grease bundt pan. {Here is where I went wrong. I just used a plain cooking spray. Either use the spray with flour in it or coat the pan with butter and shake flour over the butter until the entire cooking surface is covered.}

Mix together:

  • 1/2 cup white granulated sugar
  • 2 teaspoons (or up to 1 Tablespoon) cinnamon, depending on how strong you want the flavor.

Sprinkle the bottom of the greased bundt pan with half of the sugar mixture. Swirl the other half of the sugar mixture into the cake batter with a knife or thin spoon just before you add it to the cake pan. You could also add half the batter into the pan then sprinkle the cinnamon sugar over the batter before adding the rest of the batter.

Bake 350 degrees for 35 to 45 minutes. Cake is done with toothpick or skewer comes out clean.

Let me know how it turns out for you!

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30 May 2012
Moms • Parenting • Teens • Tweens

Rescue or push toward maturation? A mother’s quandary.

by Jennifer Dyer

The Alamo

Last night. Bedtime.

“Mom, my class is signing yearbooks tomorrow. Where is mine?” eldest, my fourth grader, asked.

“It’s your yearbook. Where is it?” I asked.

“I don’t know.” Her eyes fluttered. She stared at her shoes and sighed.

“Where do you think it is?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I can’t find it.”

There was more, but she wasn’t spilling. This was getting us nowhere and it was almost time for bed. “When did you last see it?”

Her bottom lip quivered. “I took it to my friend’s house this weekend. I’m sure I packed it, but I can’t find it.”

“You can’t find it, or you mean you are pretty sure that you left it at your friend’s house?”

“Maybe,” she said.

My mind churned: Hadn’t I suggested that you not take that book with you this weekend? In fact, I suggested you leave it in your backpack so it would be there when it was time for signing. That friend lives 70 miles away. I asked you three times before we left her house if you had everything. Arggghhh!

Fortunately, my mouth’s filter caught those words before they spilled out.

After I worked past my irritation, my heart went out to her. She looked so pitiful. Always the rescuer, my mind spun with solutions, including buying another year book. But I stopped before I said anything.

Hmm. Fourth grade is a much better age to learn about responsibility than later in life. Yes, it will be sad for her not to have the book signed with all her other friends, but she made the choice to take it to someone’s house and not make certain it was in her possession when she left. She made the choice to ignore her mother’s solid gold advice. :-) If she faces consequences that she will remember, she will be less likely to do this in the future.

So, I put on my sad face. “Get some craft paper. Your friends can sign that. You’ll have to stick it into your yearbook later.”

As hard as it was for me not to rescue, I’m thankful I stuck to my plan of helping her mature. Sometimes it is easier to look at short term problems and not look at the long term benefits/consequences. I am thankful the Lord gave me wisdom once again!

May you have a wise day, my friends.

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29 May 2012
Book Reviews • Marriage • Moms • real life

Infertility, miscarriage, and finding grace in the midst of pain.

Kennisha Hill’s new memoir Once Upon a Child is now available. Journey with her through infertility and the pain of miscarriage into God’s loving arms.

Kennisha Hill's new memoir

I had a recent Q & A with Kennisha and wanted to share it with you.
How would your book speak to people who have journeyed through infertility?
Once Upon A Child can greatly impact women who have struggled with infertility. I experienced multiple pregnancy losses and was at a place where I wasn’t sure I’d ever have children. By God’s miraculous hand, he showed me the physical challenges we were having and gave me the strength to get through it. My story speaks of God’s immeasurable love and grace for women who struggle after experiencing a pregnancy loss(ess) or who struggle with infertility.
Would your book be a good resource for an infertility group to study together or is it more of a personal memoir?
It is a personal memoir, but I wrote it with the intent of speaking to women who may be experiencing infertility as well. It’s both a personal memoir and a self-help book. Each chapter is split in two (story and resourceful information) and is packed with research geared to both audiences. I believe it could be a great source of encouragement, especially since it’s a story of hope during a time I felt children would never be a part of my future.
Are there questions for personal reflection?
Each chapter is split into two sections: personal story and self-help. The self-help section offers practical topics that would be great for personal reflection!
Do you include scripture that women can refer to for further study?
At the end of each chapter, I have a Pause and Reflect section that has a specific Bible passage (or passages) that relate to that chapter. It’s perfect for personal time to study and reflect and depend fully on the Word of God.
What about people dealing with other types of heartache and trials? What do you see them taking away from your book?
I love this story. Not only does it speak to women who have suffered with pregnancy losses and infertility, it also speaks in general of God’s grace and sovereignty in our lives. The Lord really impressed it upon my heart to share of his grace and tenderness for us during our trials. I believe anyone can be touched and encouraged to cling to Christ during their times of suffering. They’ll close this book knowing that he loves them and has great compassion for them… and that he’s available and in control and that they are never alone!

I encourage you all to check out this great new, heartfelt offering from sweet Kennisha. It will bless you!

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21 May 2012
Autism • Marriage • Moms • Parenting • Special Needs • Tweens

A three day tour

Texas Capital building

“It is 4:50 a.m., a few minutes into my captivity. The buses full of 200 fourth graders rocked back and forth with the excited footfalls of their adrenaline-filled passengers. Moms and dads blinked, moaning for coffee or any other available caffeine sources. The bus driver lectured on the evils of gummy bears left behind on the seats.”

That was the beginning of a 3-day field study with eldest’s school.

I tried to focus on the fun ahead. We would see the Texas capital, several museums, the Alamo, Sea World, and even Natural Bridge caverns before returning. But there was a part of me thinking, “I’m going to be trapped underground with 200 wild fourth graders.”

The separation from Rachel, my 8 y/o with autism, was tangible, a painful stretching of the mommy apron strings. Would she think I had abandoned her? Would she understand we were coming home in a few days?

When I thought the situation through, I knew it was important for me to go. Even from the time Rachel was an infant, people warned me not to make the family life revolve around Rachel’s disabilities. It has been difficult. The set up of the house is often out of deference to what Rachel will like or won’t destroy. The dog we chose was one that wouldn’t bark and scare her. We don’t go out to dinner as a family because Rachel isn’t ready for that yet, and we don’t take vacations as a family yet.

So, a field trip with my other daughter is the least I could do.

I am so glad I went. By the last day my verbal filter was gone. I said a few snarky things I wish I hadn’t. I lectured (sorry everyone!) several people around me about how Genesis and science are compatible and why. I thought mean thoughts about some of the people around me. In other words, my flesh was showing.

Sea World birds--love the blue duck bill!

That was good for me too. One, I have an even deeper appreciation for home, but I also was reminded of my incredible and deep need for a savior. Left on my own, I am not a nice person.

So, thank you to both Grandparents for your help in keeping the kids and providing funds for eldest and I to explore our state’s history. Thanks to hubby for keeping the home from burning down in our absence. And thanks to Jesus who keeps my big mouth shut most of the time. :-)

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09 May 2012
Moms • Parenting • Teens • Tweens

Great mom thought.

by Jennifer Dyer

Here is a great mom thought from my wise mom friend Kathy Wheeler: “Kids need to learn that the consequences of their actions is a result of their behavior, not mine.”

Love it! Teaching your kids responsibility and consequences early is important. I’m so glad there are great moms like you guys out there on the front lines. :-)

Thanks for sharing, Kathy!

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07 May 2012
Autism • Moms • Parenting • Special Needs

Envy: the ugly green monster.

by Jennifer Dyer

Last night I struggled with envy. Not the “I want that kind of car” envy. It was more, “I’m jealous because her children don’t have autism and they do more fun things as a family.”

Hubby and eldest left for eldest’s awards ceremony, and I stayed home with Rachel. Maybe someday Rachel will be able to sit through those kinds of ceremonies, but she is not to the point yet, at least not if anyone wants to hear what is going on … with someone other than our family.

Rachel was feeling bored, so she began her usual Making Constant Requests of Mommy routine. Anger bubbled in my gut after a few minutes. Why couldn’t we all go to the ceremony? All those other people are sitting there, their children with them. They’ll probably go out for a nice family dinner, and no one will even try to toss the table over. They are sitting there in air conditioning while I use the weed eater to keep Rachel entertained and to drown out the sound of her demands. And … ack! I’ll bet no one else encountered a snake tonight. Shiver!

Yes, I know. I’m waaaaay too dramatic. I know that other children dump over tables and run naked in the front lawn, but sometimes it’s hard for me to see past my own issues. In fact, I know the people I envy have their own problems. But sometimes I give into the ugly envy monster anyway.

After the snake incident–and yes, it really did happen … blech!!–I knew I needed to change my mental direction. Instead of whining, I thought of blessings. I thanked God for each joy that came to mind. I kept thanking Him, and pretty soon the Ugly Green Monster had to leave. Over the years I have learned that thankfulness is the enemy and remedy of the Ugly Green Monster. The struggle I have is employing the discipline to think thankful thoughts when tempted.

I found it interesting that this morning, in my Bible, I read the following verse:

Proverbs 14:30

30 A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body;
jealousy is like cancer in the bones.

Especially poignant is that I just had another skin biopsy done this morning. :-)  The Lord makes me smile. His word is so alive and so relevant.

I pray you will have the strength to repel the envy monster with thankfulness, my friends!

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02 May 2012
Book Reviews • Teens • Tweens

Sergeant Rex–a great read.

by Jennifer Dyer

I just finished reading a great nonfiction memoir and thought I would share it. Sergeant Rex. The unbreakable bond between a marine and his military working dog.

Sergeant Rex pulled me in from the first page. The story revolves around a hard-working marine Mike Dowling and his canine partner Rex, a handsome but aloof German Shepard. Rex is what I would expect from a military dog–intelligent, relentless, and willing to bite first then ask questions later. Rex and his handler are paired up in the US then deployed to Iraq’s Triangle of Death in 2004. The two fight along side their “Warlord” marine brothers. Together, they work to forge the way for other K9 teams to come behind them.

At moments Rex’s antics had me cracking up and the next instant I couldn’t believe the terror he and Dowling lived through. The book is not only a great feel-good story, but also a fascinating memoir of two marines fighting in a war with an enemy that spends most of its time building bombs that kill and maim their own women and children. Plus, the peak into the inner workings of the amazing Corps is inspiring and humbling. Not only are Rex and Dowling looking out for the lives of their fellow marines, they strive to save the lives of innocent civilians, although Rex has some differing opinions about civilian sheep and chickens…

It is worth noting that the language is consistent with what I expected of a Marine memoir, especially in the battle scenes. The tone is gritty, but there is nothing explicit about sex or degrading comments about women. There are a few mentions of flirting with women and a passing comment about another soldier’s pinup picture of a woman, but Dowling does not dwell in that arena. Dowling tells the story of his deployment to Iraq how he saw it. His fear, compassion, and tenacity are evident. He deals with each terror-filled battle as a learning experience and always put’s Rex’s needs above his own. He and Rex are true heroes.

Thanks to all who have served in war and peace. Thanks for being examples of your motto: Semper Fi. May God protect those who are protecting us.

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01 May 2012
Autism • Marriage • Parenting • real life • Special Needs • Teens • Tweens

Dealing with anger?

Do you deal with anger on a daily basis?

Yesterday, I’d had a long day. By five o’clock, I had HAD IT. Rachel wanted something new every minute, plus she had decided to cut open her sister’s new jump rope. As I tried to get the scissors back from her–running with those is never good, yes?–Rachel tried to close the scissors … on my finger. I howled in pain. I couldn’t get the scissors off my finger. Rachel kept squeezing tighter. I could tell she wondered, “Why aren’t they shutting?”

Because my finger was in the way!

Yikes. Thank the Lord that they were dull scissors, abused one too many times on cardboard. Otherwise, I would have trouble counting to ten…

I wanted to scream and rant. Heat bubbled in my throat. I kept stamping it down, refusing to give into its desire. Rachel doesn’t mean to be this way. It’s the autism… Instead of blowing my stack, I made dinner.

Rachel, my ever-helpful sweetie, decided to lend a hand. She grabbed my giant spoon and went to work on that spaghetti sauce, stirring as no one had ever stirred before. Yep … dinner became a 3-D sensory experience. Cleaning the raised flower-patterned tiles on the back splash turned out to be more a challenge than I anticipated.

Again, I had the urge to turn into a banshee. I wanted to toss the spaghetti into the backyard, pan and all. I imagined hiding in the closet and having a good cry. Or maybe breaking some glass jars against the bricks outside. This terrible, rushing monster inside of me wanted out.

My mind went back to the message I had heard from Dr. Charles Stanley from In Touch Ministries just that morning. (Funny how God has AMAZING timing, isn’t it?)

His message was part 1 of a series called Victory Over Anger. When I looked up the message on his website, the introduction stated, “Anger is the most dangerous of all emotions. It’s like a boomerang–you throw it out at someone, and it comes right back at you. But not all anger is bad. We can have righteous indignation, which is anger God would have if He were in our situation. In this message, Dr. Stanley explains how we can determine if our anger is righteous or sinful and how to deal with it.” http://www.intouch.org/broadcast/today-on-radio

One of the things I took away from his message is that anger is like poison or cancer bubbling and festering inside a person. Second, my anger was definitely NOT righteous. It needed to be dealt with by the Lord. I would highly recommend listening to his wisdom. The message can be found today, May 1, 2012, here. If you are looking after May 1, try the podcast section of the website. Dr. Stanley has numerous messages about anger. The podcast to look for is entitled “Victory over Anger.” The website, again, is www.intouch.org.

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