JenniferDyer.net

When are you not busy? Even when I’m asleep, my to-do list haunts me. As a mom, I often ask myself if my to-dos interfere with my parenting. But what about my marriage?

Since hubby currently works from home, we try to sit together for lunch. This has been nice because having an autistic child means evenings and weekends are hectic. We think of lunch as a time to reconnect. Today, though, I was in the middle of something when his work slowed enough that he could take a lunch break.

So, of course, I hopped up with a smile and sashayed to the kitchen to get lunch ready.

Ummm… Not exactly. At first I ignored him standing nearby. My insides tightened and I pursed my lips. He paced and came back, unsure of what to do about the grumpy wife vibes shooting toward him. He tried for a nice approach: “Are you hungry?”

I had been hungry an hour earlier. Now I was in the middle of my own work. Why should I have to stop? I went on in my head, silently complaining about the unfairness of the situation. After a few minutes, I realized I wasn’t even working anymore. Instead, I was having an internal grump fest.

What was wrong with me? My selfish self was rearing her ugly head, that’s what. Deep down, I knew my motivation was about trying to make myself and my needs more important than his needs.

It took me another moment to get my pride in check. FINALLY, I put my computer down. I thought about what was really important. My marriage should be my number one priority behind my commitment to God. My husband wasn’t asking me to rob a bank or rub his feet and fan his face while he worked. He wanted to spend time with me. What I was doing could wait.

Unbelievably, I sulked while we prayed over our lunch until I took another look at my heart. Selfishness has no place in marriage. Like a two-year-old, I was acting foolish simply because I didn’t get my way.

Once I got over myself, we had a really nice time. Silly me…