Archive for August 30, 2011

30 Aug 2011
Autism • Parenting • Special Needs

Sunday school fire drill.

Today was the second church attempt in our new town.

Everything went fine for the first 10 minutes… And then came the fire drill.

Hearing the buzzing sounds was so out of place we all looked at each other in surprise. Then everything happened at once. We had to move! Did I mention this was the three-year-old class?

Like cat herders, the other two teachers and I moved the kids to the door. I grabbed one girl’s shoes and held Rachel with the other hand. A teacher grabbed the rope the kids we supposed to hold to help them walk in an orderly fashion. And out we went.

Sort of.

In the hall, one mom met us with a panicked look. She grabbed up her daughter. “Doesn’t it figure the one day I forget her shoes we have to go outside?” (It has been over 100 degrees here for weeks.)

I, being ever helpful, smiled at the mom. “At least you don’t leave your daughter’s shoes AND panties at home…, as I have been known to do.”

Anyway, we marched outside without too much incident. The kids even enjoyed waving at the firemen. After a few minutes outside, the firemen announced it was just a malfunction, and we all marched back inside, better off for our adventure.

Rachel was a bit disoriented, but after flushing the toilet several times, perhaps to make certain the firemen hadn’t clogged it up, Rachel settled back down.

Until the fire alarms went off again two minutes later.

This time was a bit different. Two little girls started crying. One couldn’t find her shoes, but she wasn’t about to let go of the five toys clutched in her hands. We compromised on trading the elephant for her shoes.

Rachel grabbed the rope back out of the cabinet and held it out, ready to go. Sadly, she was the only one willing to hold the rope. I held her hand while another kid grabbed my other one. I stared at another boy immobile on the floor and wondered if I could grow a third arm.

Once we got into the hallway, things grew more chaotic. Our rope line, which resembled more of a wheezing trapezoid, collided with a boy in a wheelchair and two adults. I think there might have been a circus clown with a ladder there too.

Once we finally made it outside, Rachel decided she’d had enough. While the kids sat on a curb, Rachel lunged for a playground. As she weighs over 70 pounds now, I was having difficultly stopping her.

At that point, I gave up and called hubby to cone find us and take us home. We’ll try again next week!

| No comments | Tags: ,
29 Aug 2011
Autism • Parenting • Special Needs

Sunday school plan for Rachel

On the heels of a successful first trip to church, I met with the children’s director if the church to discuss how to help Rachel better fit into the church, and how to make it so I could actually attend church while she stayed in Sunday school.

One of the many difficulties of attending church with a special needs child is allowing the parent to attend the service while the child stays in a class, at least that gas been my experience. I have found some churches are open to problem solving, whole others are bit equipped.

Thankfully, we have found a church in our new city that is willing to work with us.

Here are some if the plans we have for helping Rachel integrate into Sunday school:

Finding a few helpers who are willing to be with Rachel during the hour. The supervisor thought of a few teens she felt could handle the responsibility.

Putting together a box of sensory and motivating toys that will be just for Rachel. These would be available to her when we drop her off and they will be kept specifically for church. I will provide enough so that they can be rotated. I also want to find something she can hold during story time that will keep her/assist her in sitting down and attending. (Squishy toys might help.)

Then I plan to stay with her for the next several weeks to help her adjust and to assist the helpers with getting to know Rachel.

We’ll see how it goes. :-)

| 3 comments | Tags: , , ,
28 Aug 2011
Autism • Parenting • real life • Special Needs

New church for Rachel

Today we attempted church for the second week in a row.

I suppose I should back up a bit and mention that we just moved to a new city a few weeks ago. There have been lots of adjustments, one of which was finding a new church.

Our first week wasn’t too bad, but it was scary. The last church we attended had a special needs classroom, so it was a bit easier to attend. Yet, the church was so enormous we had a difficult time feeling…involved. I know part of that is up to the attendee, but with the distance to the church, Rachel’s autism, and a host of other factors, we did not participate in activities that would help us interact with others.

Back to the new place… Even though Rachel is seven we decided to put her in the 3-year-old class. The structure, lesson level, and toys seemed more appropriate for her.

The first day I checked with the supervisor and class teacher to see if I could stay with Rachel to help her get settled. Being in a new place always Amos up get already high anxiety. I also made an appointment to talk to the children’s supervisor about Rachel during the week to work out a plan. (Sunday morning didn’t seem the best time to work that out…)

So, the first week went well. Rachel seemed to like it, and, as long as I stayed with her, she seemed inclined to follow the class schedule.

The children’s supervisor and I met and came up with a few plans. We will see how they go…

More later!

| No comments | Tags: , ,
22 Aug 2011
Autism • Current events • Moms • Parenting • Recipes • Special Needs

Another first day of school…

by Jennifer Dyer

Last night I hardly slept. I kept waking up and wondering if it was time to take the kids to school. At one point I recalled my childhood and my first-day-of-school jitters. Would I make friends? Would school be hard? Will people make fun of me? Will my teacher be nice?

Last night all those old fears and more rolled around in my head for my two girls.  Will eldest like her new school? Did we do the right thing in moving here? When will eldest make some good friends? When will we have a home so I can invite them over? (That’s another story. I’ll try to get to that tomorrow…)

Then there was Rachel. What about her special needs class? It seemed nice on open house night, but we were there all of five minutes. Rachel spent the entire time trying to run out the door. What will she do when we get to school, and I have to…ACK!…leave her. What will I do? Will we be able to keep up with homework for both girls? Will Rachel get the therapy she needs? Will she eventually like it there? Will there be any violent kids in her special needs class? Will she be afraid?

I could go on, but the list is getting tiring, as I am sure you agree. But perhaps some of you have experienced the same feelings. Eldest is in fourth grade, and each year the same thoughts swirl in my mind. Leaving her at kindergarten was like tearing my heart in two. (One of my first thoughts after that kindergarten day was, “I am NOT letting her leave for college. Ever!”)

Raising children is difficult. It forces me to face my deepest fears. I also face my inadequacies and must watch that I do not pass my insecurities onto my children. I must separate what occurred in my childhood from what they experience. And I must support them without ALWAYS interjecting my opinions into what I think they should do with every minute of their day and in every interaction they experience. Plus, the same me that wished they would entertain themselves during the summer cries when they go off to school and leave me alone. I’m never quite sure which way I am turning.

So, fellow parents, whatever circumstances in which you find yourself today, I wish you well. If you just sent your kids off to school, keep an eye on the clock. The morning dragged on, but I just realized I need to leave in just a minute to get the girls.

Hugs!

| No comments
12 Aug 2011
apraxia • Autism • Parenting • Special Needs

Moving and my war with control.

Ever tried to sell your hone while living in it? With children? If so, then that little 3-word phrase “on the market” may cause you to shudder. It does me…

So, this morning was just another typical day. Ha. Ha. As I rushed around scrubbing surfaces and sending Robbie the Roomba on errands, I kept thinking, “If I just get this done, then we can go to that get together.”

Except one thing led to another. I stepped into my bathroom to FINALLY brush my hair and…my old nemeses were back. The ants! I’ve told them I just want to be friends, but they’re not getting the hint. They won’t go away and let me sell my house in peace.

While I battled the ants, Rachel wandered into the bathroom behind me. She babbled her normal sounds and played in the closet, but I didn’t pay much attention. Meanwhile eldest was having a fit because her hair feathers were sticking up. Grr.

I finished the clean up, along with feather control, then turned to see…Rachel playing with her new sticker collection. You know the kind–the ones labeled Always.

Meanwhile the phone rang. My friend was waiting to say farewell to me, but I was going to miss her because of the ants and mess. Tears pressed behind my eyes. I couldn’t keep up with everything!

I chased after Rachel to confiscate the “stickers,” and found she had also been crumbling cheese on her sister’s bed. Ack!

We managed to stumble out the door, but I never did find those “stickers…” Hopefully that will not be the first thing someone viewing the house sees.

My day went on in similar fashion until Rachel’s dentist appointment. We made it to Children’s Hospital early and had time to ride up and down the glass elevators. Rachel laughed and hugged me. I had it under control. Finally, something was going right.

All was well until she sat on the chair. Rachel lolled over to the side and revealed she had left an essential part of her wardrobe in the car. The part that covers her hiney. And we had ridden in a GLASS elevator.

“Oh my,” said the lady helping us. Oh my, indeed.

I sat back and laughed. Control is such an illusion. Even when I think I have it together I don’t. I might as well accept that and learn to laugh more, ants and all.

Of course, acceptance doesn’t mean I won’t put down the ant baits I just bought. That war is still on, my friends!

| No comments | Tags: , , , , , , ,
11 Aug 2011
Marriage • Parenting • real life

Waiting…

We are in a waiting pattern. The same questions keep going through my mind: When will the house sell? Will the house sell? When will this stress end?

By yesterday I had worked myself into a complete frazzle. I couldn’t focus and kept snapping at my children. I couldn’t wait any longer. My house HAD to sell now!

I didn’t stop to check my attitude until eldest repeated the same question a dozen time, as she darted aimlessly around the house: “When will it sell?”

Hmm. Perhaps I had something to do with her anxiety…

So, I did what many strong females do when the times get tough. I went shopping. Even though I don’t enjoy shopping all that much (spending money gives me hives), I had to focus on something besides me.

Walking through the jewelry section–because necklaces are far kinder when it comes to size than pants–I found a ring with the word Faith on it. The inside of the ring says, “Live by faith, not by sight.”

I wear that ring on my right thumb, so that it is always facing me. Anytime I feel anxiety pressing against my chest, l glance down at the word. It reminds me that God is going to take care of the details. I just need to trust Him.

| No comments
10 Aug 2011
Parenting

Back to school=backpack war

As a child, back-to-school shopping meant new clothes, accessories, backpacks, and other fun items.

Now that I’m the mom, back to school means spending LOTS of money, arguments over clothes and other school items, and, of course, that my children will be off to the world where I cannot be with them.

So, the other day eldest and I stopped in a store for a gift, but ended up in one of those mother-daughter head locks. Other moms steered far around us. The battle of the backpack was on.

Why? Content. I want my daughter to express her artistic side, yes, but some bags had symbols and words on them I didn’t find appropriate. My first instinct was to lock down and march out. I’m the mother! What I say goes! (I was quite grumpy already that day…)

Thankfully, the small reasonable part of my grain spoke up. “Tell her why. Discuss this.” So, I took a deep breath and explained to her why I didn’t like the symbols on one bag–they reminded me I’d death, in case you were wondering. Once we had discussed it, she took ownership of the idea. And she picked another one. I didn’t love that one either, but that was a matter of style and colors, not anything deeper.

Overall, things ended on a good note. Too bad the pool later with little sister didn’t go as well… I suppose I’ll take my triumphs when they come.

| No comments