JenniferDyer.net

by Jennifer Dyer

A friend mentioned her child was a frequent liar.

“Have you tried the Bill Cosby liar’s cure?”

She was intrigued.

Years ago one of my mentors told me about the “Bill Cosby method” she used to cure her son of lying. I employed the same method years after that conversation with my own daughter, who is now a very honest child.

It went something like this:

I told eldest: “Three times in the next week I am going to lie to you. You won’t know ahead of time what I am lying about, but I will tell you afterward.”

The next day before school I told eldest we would get ice cream after school from her favorite shop, an expensive one. She bounced in her seat. I felt terrible about it, but kept smiling.

After school, I drove straight home.

“Why aren’t we getting ice cream?” she asked.

“Oh.” I shrugged. “I lied.”

Stunned silence predominated the back seat. After a few moments, she found her voice. “That was mean.”

“I told you I was going to lie.”

“But not about ice cream.”

“Were your feelings hurt?”

“Yes.”

“Do you feel like you cannot trust me?”

“Yes,” she said through tears.

“Do you think others feel the same when you lie?”

“Maybe … yes.”

That was the only time I had to lie to her. It made such a deep impact. We talked for a while about lying, how it hurts people, how it breaks relationships, how it makes us untrustworthy.

So, give it a try.

What other ways have you tried to cure your kids from bad habits like lying?