Leaving Paradise

A few days ago, I wrote about my fears of getting on a plane and getting away from my comfort zone. It took a lot to step out. I felt sad to leave my family, but also intimidated about what the next few days would bring. I am privileged to serve on the MomLifeToday team with so many amazing women. Several have huge speaking and writing platforms and are all around go-getters. I’m more of an: “Ack! I’m over my head” kind of girl.

I am so very thankful I came. Not only did I meet an amazing group of sisters, but I also learned so much. And how many times will I be able to sit in a room with so much collective wisdom? I am truly blessed.

Aside from that, I learned a lot about myself. I believe I am a coward. I crave safety, comfort, and the familiar. But for some reason, what the other women saw in me was courage. I don’t say that to preen my feathers, if you will allow the seagull analogy, but I say it to challenge you:

What do others see in you?
What does God see in you?

So often, I get bogged down in the little picture. I allow that sense of false humility to keep me down: I’m nobody. I didn’t get the whole parenting thing right today. I yelled at my kids and ignored the dishes. That other mom is thinner than me. She’s a better writer than me. She’s more famous than me. I’m a failure…

But is that what the Lord sees? No. As I sat here looking at the beauty he created in the oceans and sand, I thought about the big picture. Don’t be caught up in the little things: guilt, anger, bickering, jealousy, insecurity, self doubt… See the big picture God is painting with your life. Let the master artist create paradise in your heart so that you can bring it to those around you.

So…I don’t believe I am leaving paradise at all. In that case, I’ll miss the sand between my toes, but I will not have to vacuum it out of my carpet.

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0 thoughts on “Leaving Paradise

  1. You are very unique. No one else could do what you do with the “cards” you’ve been dealt. I am amazed at your writing skills. Keep your chin up – someone needs to hear your missteps.

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