11 Jun 2013
apraxia • Autism • Parenting • Special Needs

Language lessons with Rachel

20130604-160039.jpg

I’m watching Rachel do therapy. Watching her answer questions, amazed that she is able to answer yes/no queries, say the first sound of some words, and use colors for describing. She has come so far since the days of her dragging me to what she wanted and/or screaming while we try to hand her anything and everything just to have peace.

It is amazing to watch her progress, but also like swallowing a mug of rusty nails. Her therapist asks her if she wants the blue block. She signs yes and takes the green one. They drill it over and over until I am squirming in my seat, biting my lips, clenching my hands because I see the frustration mounting in Rachel’s face, fear the tantrum that might come, and, worse, I am sitting back in that developmental pediatrician’s office seven years ago, when Rachel was only two-years-old, bawling my eyes out, watching her fail test after test, realization dawning that life will never be easy for my precious child.

It is a strange feeling, to have this elation and soul-crushing grief share the same space in my heart. It is as if I will tear in half. Part of me rages and cries out to God, “Why?” The other half cries with relief, thanks God for the progress, because, at age nine, she is finally starting to communicate with some accuracy that the outside world can understand.

Sometimes I wonder if I will keep the pieces of myself together, how a soul can hold that many powerful emotions at once. But I cannot let go. I must clasp my burning heart together for Rachel. I must sit and watch therapy sessions even though I want to jump in and prompt her to answer, I want to run away when I see how hard it is for her, and I want to yell it to the world when she gets it right.

But I must settle for quiet, for high fives, for hugs, and accept her progress as she moves through life at her own pace. I must watch her fail, but not give in to my vortex of grief that pushes against me so that I can be there for her. I must accept the failures with the achievements. And I must accept the pace of her progress.

Rachel is beautiful, she is mine, and I love her for who she is.

| 3 comments | Tags: , , , ,
04 Jun 2013
character building/discipline • Teens • Traveling • Tweens

Sticking to the consequences.

by Jennifer Dyer

Inside I think I’m about as tough as jello left out in the hot sun. As you can imagine, that personality trait does not always lend itself to raising children with great character. Sticking to the consequences is tough.

A few weeks ago, we planned to visit Great Wolf Lodge again. The first trip had been challenging, but for some reason hubby and I both took temporary leave from our senses and bought another Groupon. So, here we were on a Thursday night preparing for another two days of marinating in chlorine and rubbing shoulders with 1,000′s of our closest friends strangers.

If you’ve never been there, it is a really nice place. In addition to the waterpark, there is also MagicQuest, which entails running up and down stairs for hours waving a $$ wand at boxes and some other stuff that I don’t know because I’ve never done it, but the kids love it. And it wears them out. A brilliant plan on GWL’s part, if you ask me.

So, as I mentioned, the wands are expensive. Last trip, a wand came with our package, so no problem, but this trip was different. For weeks I’d been telling Eldest to find her wand. The night before we left, I decided to make a sweep for said wand in case Rachel had stashed it somewhere.

I went through the ball pit. Although I found no wand, I did find out where all the Easter Eggs and Starbursts had gone–at least the half-chewed ones. Nice. I also found my nephew’s entire collection of dinosaurs, a few toy snakes, a broom, three jump ropes, and the lost map to Atlantis. But no wand.

I moved furniture in the game room, cleaned out baskets, reorganized toys, and … well, you get the picture. Mom was working up a sweat.

And the kids watched TV.

Hmm.

At the end of the night, no wand had appeared, and the only one putting effort into the search was Mom, the person who wasn’t going to use it. So, I had some sad news to deliver.

Hubby and I, long faces on, informed Eldest that we would have coughed up the cash for another wand if we’d seen any sort of effort made toward finding ours. Now my goal is not to embarrass Eldest, so enough about that.

My point is I was totally sad to dish out that consequence! Here we were about to take a trip where half the fun is that Quest game and we were having to say tough luck, kid. It stunk. I was so tempted to cave, to buy another wand, to play the game with her. To watch her giggle and run. We were going on a mini vacation, after all. We’d paid all that $$$ to stay there and we wouldn’t get to enjoy one of the biggest attractions.

At the hotel, I almost gave in. She didn’t ask, but it seemed like EVERYONE was playing the game, running, and laughing. Everyone, except us.

Phooey.

But we didn’t give in. It’s the little consequences like this one that build character. It’s not easy. It’s more fun to give in, to enjoy the moment, but the long-term consequences of me caving would be raising a child who didn’t believe in consequences. A kid who thinks “the rules don’t apply to me. It doesn’t matter what I do, I’ll still get my way.” In other words, a spoiled brat who doesn’t think about how his or her actions affect other people.

So, in the short term, it was no fun. In the long-term, though, I’m so glad I stayed tough.

| 4 comments | Tags: ,
28 May 2013
apraxia • Autism • Moms • Parenting • Special Needs

Autism and communication misfires.

by Jennifer Dyer

This morning Rachel and I got off to a rough start. Traveling this past weekend and having Monday off from school meant our routine was shot, our lives out of order.

I couldn’t find her backpack. Though I cleaned out her water bottle, I left it sitting on the counter. I never even looked for her iPad, and it is the details that matter to Rach. But I knew none of this on the way to school. My mind was still focused on everything left undone at home. Plus, some of the scar tissue from my cancer surgery decided this was a good morning to light on fire. I could not think straight.

On the way to school, Rach kept trying to tell me something. Her language is getting better. She has the receptive language/understanding of a child about three years old, which is encouraging. Expressively, she struggles because her apraxia on top of the autism makes her communication garbled and unintelligible, even her sign language. But she is trying and that is HUGE!

She was making a sign from the backseat, though, that I couldn’t understand. I kept guessing. Both of us had pinched, flushed faces and tense muscles by the time we got to school. I steered Rachel toward her classroom while she gestured and made verbal approximations of “Buh” and “Shuh,” but those mean so many things!

My jumbled mind clawed through everything that might possibly be wrong or that she wanted. What was wrong with me that I couldn’t understand my own child? I’m a speech-language pathologist! If anything, I should be able to do this! But I can’t. I just. Keep. Failing.

When we entered the class, her teacher asked me what Rachel was trying to say.

I wanted to scream, to pull out my hair, to hide under my bed. I don’t know!

Rach looked at me and understanding dawned. Mommy failed, again, to get it. Her eyes teared up. She put her hands over them, pressing away her tears.

My gut twisted. Above all else, her pain and frustration rips and shreds at my soul. It’s not fair. I HATE that communication is so hard for her. I can’t stand that look of disappointment because it breaks me inside. I feel like a failure when I see it, but worse, I feel like I failed HER.

Autism is just. Plain. Mean.

I found her missing items and took them up to school, but I still don’t know what she was trying to tell me. And that, above all else, makes me press my hands against my own eyes to hold in the tears.

| 6 comments | Tags: , , , ,
24 May 2013
Uncategorized

Book review–The Promise Box by Tricia Goyer

by Jennifer Dyer

I know some of you love to read Christian Fiction, so I wanted to tell you about Tricia Goyer’s latest Amish read, The Promise Box from the Seven Brides for Seven Bachelors series set in the quaint Amish community of West Kootenai, Montana. One of the reasons I gave this book a high rating on my Goodreads and Amazon accounts was the setting. I like visiting there in the pages of Tricia’s books. I feel as though I’m walking through the scenic mountains with the soaring peaks and blooming summer flowers.

Here is the back cover description of the book:

“Every year, young Amish men descend on the cozy little town of West Kootenai, Montana, arriving in the spring to live there for six months and receive ‘resident’ status for the hunting season in the fall. They arrive as bachelors, but go home with brides! In The Promise Box, the second book of best-selling author Tricia Goyer’s Seven Brides for Seven Bachelors series, Lydia Wyse, a book editor from Seattle who grew up Amish, returns to the small community of West Kootenai to give comfort to her father after her mother’s death. She is drawn back to the familiar Amish ways after finding her mother’s most precious possession, a Promise Box of prayers and scripture. What her publisher sees, though, is an opportunity for a sensational ‘tell-all’ book about the Amish. Lydia soon finds herself falling in love with Amish bachelor Gideon Hooley. She wants nothing more than to forget her past and look forward to a future as an Amish bride. But will the pain of her childhood—and her potential betrayal of her community—keep her from committing her whole heart?”

The story is sweet with some twists and turns and a lot of soul searching. Lydia has to deal with some very tough issues from her past. I knew someone once who was raped and gave their baby up for adoption, which is another reason the book pulled at my heart strings. From what I remember, the young woman had many of the same emotions put forward in this book. It was nice to see how something so terrible, so tragic, so horrible still had a blessing attached to it at the end.

Another reason I gave it a high rating was the way Tricia deals with the characters. Some of the Amish fiction books I’ve read (I have not read everything out there, so I am not claiming expertise) feature lots of distrust for outsiders and even anger/hatred. I know people in small communities often feel a mistrust for outsiders, so I get that, but sometimes it gets old reading about hateful, angry people.

Don’t get me wrong. Many Amish novels are beautifully written and have deep, meaningful character journeys, but I enjoyed the different view. I wonder if that’s because as a Christian I don’t want to be seen as someone who hates others simply because they think differently. I want to draw others to Jesus by demonstrating His love, not by whacking them over the head with a Bible and conviction.

Along those same lines, I appreciated the way Lydia’s family still loved her even though she made choices they didn’t agree with. Hateful, unforgiving, angry, critical, judgmental parents is another thing that wears me out. (Since I read a lot of YA fiction, I suppose I might see more of that than other readers.) I understand it happens, and sometimes it is done very well and/or necessary to the story, but I enjoy reading about people who love their children even when it hurts. It reminds me of how much God loves me. 

This is a Christian novel, so expect some Bible verses, but most of that is drawn organically out of the promise box Lydia’s mom left for her. As a mom of two daughters, I found it quite touching.

My fav character was probably Gideon. He was a fun hero to watch–kind, but not a dashing Romeo. In fact, I think he felt out of his element at every turn, but he persevered. Gotta admire a guy like that. His backstory was touching, too.

Do you ever have similar reactions to a book? Liking it because of the way it made you feel or think?

*Even though I was given a copy of the book to review, the opinions are my own. Thanks to Zondervan for my book.

| No comments
22 May 2013
character building/discipline • Moms • Parenting • real life • school-age • Spiritual Life • Teens • Tweens • Uncategorized

Talking to your kids about sex.

by Jennifer Dyer

There is something interesting about the way people talk or don’t talk about sex. What is so easy to discuss with friends over coffee causes parents to stammer, blush, and say to their children, “Ask again when you’re 30.” 

But we do our children a disservice when we act as though we are ashamed of sex or that it is something dirty. Instead, we should help them to see sex as part of God’s beautiful design for a fulfilling marriage.

How soon is too soon to talk to your kids about sex? As soon as they ask. You can let their questions lead what you tell them.

Years ago, a mentor told me about seeing two bunnies procreating in her yard while sitting with her three-year-old. Her daughter asked what they were doing.

She replied, “They are making love to make babies.”

Her daughter screwed up her face. “Do you and Daddy do that?”

My friend did not let the question ruffle her. “It’s different, but, yes.”

And that was it for a long time, but it started the conversation and kept it open from that point on.

Eldest didn’t ask any major questions until she was 10. It wasn’t that I wanted to hide the topic. She just wasn’t ready to discuss it. But I wanted to be ready when she asked because there is a plethora of misinformation, lies even, about sex hitting our children in the face every day through popular media. Even in the malls, we are bombarded with sexual images and messages.

We, as parents, need to be the first source of truth for our children about God’s beautiful design for sex. And it’s not a once-and-you’re-done kind of topic. There needs to be an ongoing dialog about sex and all it encompasses as your kids mature.

Kids crave information on sex. In his book, The Bare Facts, 39 Questions Your Parents Hope You Never Ask About Sex, author Josh McDowell points out “the word ‘sex’ receives more than four billion Google searches every year.”

 

That’s billion with a “B.” How many of those searches do you think are from kids? A friend recently found the word sex searched on her 9 year-old daughter’s iPod.

 

One mom, eyes wide with terror, asked me what she was supposed to say. Here are some things I’ve discussed with Eldest, who is 11 as I write this:

  • Sex is what you desire to do when you love a person so much you want to be as close to them as possible.
  • God made sex for marriage, to be kept inside of marriage.
  • Sex is a picture of how deeply God loves us. The Bible uses the term “know” (the Hebrew word yada. See here for more info.) in regards to sex. It is the same term used many other times in the Bible describing how deeply God knows us.
  • Sex is like glue that puts a marriage together.
  • If you have sex with someone you aren’t married to, sex still “glues” you to that person.
  • There are chemicals in the brain released in sex that actually bond you with a person. This is wonderful in marriage. It will hurt you deeply emotionally if you aren’t married to that person.
  • God says sex is only for marriage, not because he is mean, but to protect you emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
  • The world–TV, music, movies, video games, and people–will tell you sex is just for fun and it can’t hurt you to play around, but those are lies.
  • Some people say it’s too hard to deny yourself any sort of pleasure. That is also a lie.
  • Your friends are not experts or reliable places to get information about sex.
  • Sex is meant to be private, between a husband and a wife. It is beautiful.
  • Sex also can create babies. There are all types of birth control available, but they do not always work.
  • People will talk about safe sex, but the only kind of safe sex you can have is when you are married and both of you are faithful to each other.
  • When you have sex with different people, you can get viruses, sort of like colds, only much more serious. Some of those viruses even cause cancer. (See here for more info on HPV.)
  • People can have sex and get pregnant outside of marriage, but that is not God’s best plan for you.

The world is full of lies about sex we must refute with our kids:

  • Sex = love.
  • Everyone else is doing it, so I should too.
  • It’s unrealistic to save sex until marriage with people waiting until their late 20′s to get married.
  • Sex in marriage is boring.
  • Sex is dirty and bad, and God doesn’t like it.
  • I’ve already had sex, so what’s the point in waiting.
  • Oral sex isn’t really sex.
  • Sex is no big deal. It’s just an action. It doesn’t mean anything.

All wrong. All lies.

In the above mentioned The Bare Facts book, Josh addresses and dispels many of the questions I’ve posed above. I’d highly recommend the book for parents and for teens.

(For an in-depth description of the deep meaning behind sex in marriage and the word yada, see Dannah Gresh beautifully address it here.)

The world wants to sell our children a different, cheaper version of sex that will leave them broken mentally and often physically. We, as parents and mentors, have to be willing to talk openly and often about sex to our kids, telling our children of its beauty, blessing, and boundaries.

If we, as parents, aren’t willing to discuss sex with our kids, then who will? And what will they tell our kids?

| One comment | Tags:
16 May 2013
crafts/organization • Current events • Friendship

Graduation cake ideas.

by Jennifer Dyer

It’s graduation season. I rarely make cakes anymore, but this has some cute and easy elements, so I wanted to share. This isn’t the best picture (the cake had an incident on the way to the party), but I can’t access all my older pics at the moment.

If I remember correctly with the cake pictured, one of my dipped strawberries took a dive in the car, so it was smeared with frosting. (But still yum-o.) My hands are shakier than they used to be, so don’t focus on my penmanship. Overall the cake was a huge hit.

I made two 15×11 cakes and put them together and frosted them with cream cheese buttercream. For this cake the only decoration I used was my graduation strawberries and some chocolate diplomas (I bought the mold for those at a cake store.)

For the strawberry hats I used milk chocolate Ghirardelli squares and Reese’s peanut butter cup miniatures. To make the hats:

  • Put the squares on a cookie sheet, plain side down. 
  • Melt milk chocolate Ghirardelli chips.
  • Dip the smaller end of the peanut butter cups into the melted chocolate to act as glue. Place it in the middle of a square. 
  • Let them set up at room temperature or in the refrigerator.

I made the diplomas from purple dipping melts that I bought as a craft store. Use a bit of the dipping chocolate to glue those to your hardened berries. (Try to place the diplomas on about the same height of the berries–something I learned after seeing this pic. Lol.)

I also dipped the strawberries in melted Ghirardelli milk chocolate chips, so the hats match the strawberries.

Here are some tips I’ve learned after making numerous dipped strawberry displays:

  • Make the graduation hats ahead of time. They will keep for quite a while.


  • Instead of rinsing the berries, wipe them gently with a sightly damp towel. I wipe them again with a dry towel to make sure there is no water left. (Water will cause the chocolate to seize up). If you rinse the berries ahead of time they tend to release more water and appear to sweat after being dipped.


  • Dip the strawberries the day of the event. I know it’s a pain, but they get runny if dipped too far ahead of time. If you can find stemmed berries, they tend to stay fresh longer, so you can dip those the day before.


  • Don’t overheat the chocolate. I heat it on 50% power in the microwave in a small mug or little bowl, stirring every 30 seconds. If you heat the chocolate too high, you will wind up with streaking. If your chocolate does get overly hot, just stir gently it until it cools down. (You want to be able to cup the bowl comfortably with your hand.)


  • Assemble everything you need before you start dipping in an assembly line. Dried berries, small bowl with chocolate, cookie sheet covered in wax paper. It goes pretty fast if you do your prep work.


  • Spread waxed paper over a cool cookie sheet. (I sometimes put my cookie sheets in the freezer and pull them out right before I start dipping, especially in the Texas summers.) Set the berries on the waxed paper after dipping. I sometimes stick my berries into the freezer for 10 minutes to help them set up.


  • Be gentle when you pull the berries out of the chocolate so the green stems stay in tact.


  • After the strawberries set up, I use a small spoonful of melted chocolate to glue the already dried hats to the top of the berry.

Here is a pic of another graduation cake I made. If I can find the others, I’ll add them here. 

 Hope this gives you all some great ideas as we head in graduation season!

| No comments | Tags: ,
13 May 2013
Autism • character building/discipline • Moms • Special Needs • Spiritual Life

Your mother bear is showing.

by Jennifer Dyer

I’m having one of those mother bear days.

I try to be a “go with the flow” kind of person, to model that attitude for my kids, but sometimes the flow seems more like a tidal wave of things rushing in a different direction than they should. I feel like The Hulk–trying to be mild mannered, but something happens that I perceive as a possible threat to my children and WHAM! I morph into this wild roaring maniac.

 

I try to keep her caged inside me. Even if she is growling and ranting, I try to filter Mother Bear Hulk’s roars into something more moderate. But when too many things happen at once, I let loose of her chains … and my mouth.

The mother bear triggers are different for all of us, and we should be advocates for our children, but it is better to do it without leaving a trail of detritus scattered on a path behind.

So, after my mother bear moment with both Rachel’s school and her doctor’s office (three incidents in the same morning…) I felt wrung out, a branch stripped of leaves after a storm. I realized I was running without fuel.

I retreated to my room to read my Bible and get some perspective, which I probably should have done first.

As I settled into reading from the Psalms, I thought about the reasons why I need to spend time reading God’s word daily. It isn’t so I can get an “A” from God for being a top student. I need it because my soul thirsts and hungers for encouragement, for the truth, for intimacy with God. I need it like a soldier needs armor. A soldier doesn’t go into battle without training, without understanding how to use whatever tools she needs to complete her mission.

I need God’s Word like a sunburn needs aloe vera. I need God’s grace like seeds need water to grow. It is where I find my balance, where I find what feeds and nourishes my soul.

As an aside, I recently wrote about feeding my soul through Christian music. As I read through Psalm 61-64, words from songs penned from within those same verses echoed in my heart. Instead of eating sandwich bread out of a bag while standing at the kitchen sink, I was eating warm fresh rolls in a cozy bakery enveloped in the nutty, buttery scent of baking loaves and croissants.

However, whenever, you can feed your soul on God’s Word, do. It will always be time well spent.

May you find yourselves awash in God’s grace and may your souls be well fed this week, my friends.

| One comment | Tags:
08 May 2013
apraxia • Autism • Moms • Parenting • Special Needs • Spiritual Life

Enduring defeat.

by Jennifer Dyer

As the mother of a child with special needs, defeat is often my companion. In some ways, I have accepted the pace of growth for Rachel, but there are often days where I realize she has been left behind yet again by her peers. The pain seizes my heart and tries to choke off my joy.

Sometimes, though, disappointment and defeat don’t relate back to autsim. Sometimes I feel I failed in some other areas. Or something I hoped for doesn’t happen.

Whatever the case, it hurts. Sometimes it hurts enough to make me want to quit, be it writing, cooking, caring, or feeling. Sometimes I want to crawl under the bed and hide.

So, today, when a disappointment hit me and the desire for retreat engulfed me, I had to stop. Instead of wallowing in the moment, tossing my latest project in the trash, and throwing a big pity party, I thought about the big picture, about an eternal perspective.

I prayed, “Lord, I trust you with this failure. I trust you even in this. I’m not sure what your plans are, but I trust you with my future.”

And I felt relieved.

Did God need me to pray this?

No. God is infinite. Jesus is complete. I cannot fathom His needs, if He has any. He is complete whether I trust Him or not. But as a mom, I can understand the joy of watching my children trust me.

Furthermore, I had to say that for myself. I needed to hear it. I needed to remind myself that I did believe God is in charge. Sometimes I hold things so tightly that my desires crumble in my grip. Instead, I should hold everything with an open hand and trust God with what happens next.

| 2 comments | Tags: ,
06 May 2013
apraxia • Autism • Moms • Parenting • school-age • Special Needs

Life adapted: soap and shower gel.

By Jennifer Dyer

20130505-202045.jpg

Rachel loves shower gel. She loves it so much, in fact, that we might go through two bottles per day.

I tried watching her, even not letting her shower alone. I’ve also tried over the last four years to teach her how much gel to use with each shower.

But she insists. I think some if it is due to her obsessive compulsive nature, in addition to the autism, anxiety, and apraxia that cloud her mind and communication.

If Rachel opens something, whether it be a container of lemonade, glue, or soap, she wants it finished, empty, and discarded (sometimes into the carpet) so she can move on to the next thing. Other people I have known with OCD tendencies say this is common.

But the constant waste does little for my own anxiety. Understanding where she is coming from helps a great deal. And so does finding solutions to help us both.

20130505-202107.jpg

In the shower, I installed a second shower caddy above the shower, about 7′ high. I have to stand on tippy toes to reach everything, but it helps.

I try to put a little bit of gel in the containers she can freely reach, a trick I learned from Grandma. I also continue to show her by modeling how much soap to use and verbally prompting.

In my case, at least, Rachel likes to learn the rules for how things work, but I have to remember sometimes it takes years to teach her a concept.

Sometimes the years part gets to me. But have you ever wondered about God’s patience with us? I’ve struggled with some of the same issues for years. Yet God is far more patience with me than I am with my own children. And that is something for which I am thankful.

Lord, thank you for your patience!

How about you?

| 5 comments | Tags: , ,
01 May 2013
apraxia • Autism • Moms • Parenting • real life • school-age • Special Needs • Spiritual Life • Teens • Tweens

Why am I blue? Understanding life’s changes and the emotions they evoke.

by Jennifer Dyer

My subconscious is smarter than I am.

This past week I’ve been on edge. One moment, I want to yell and rant and the next I’m wishing to hide under my covers and never come out. While I am usually pretty driven to accomplish, I feel like a balloon drifting over a windless desert.

So, today, I spent some time praying and asked God what was wrong with me. “Why am I so blue?” Some of it is hormones, those lovely horrible moans that take a perfectly sane woman and turn her into a raving monster for a day or two every month. But I knew it had to be something deeper, something more serious adding to my mental disarray.

As I prayed, I thought about the time of year–it’s May. And every May I go through this. Panic attacks, scattered thoughts, anxiety, over-thinking, on edge, depressed, and fearful. Though it has lessened over the last five or so years, I still feel it.

Why?

My subconscious has already realized what the rest of me is slower on picking up: School is about to be out.

Don’t get me wrong. I love having the girls home. I enjoy long summer days, swimming, playing, sleeping in, the feeling of potential each morning when a day is filled with unknown adventures. And I am so, so thankful I can be with them during their breaks.

But I also know that I am on the clock all the time. Not only for eldest with her needs for a close relationship with her mother, but also for Rachel and all the demands that go with having a special needs child.

Errands that I run during the school year will include Rachel during the summer. Don’t get me wrong. I love taking her places, but its easier when I don’t actually have to accomplish anything. Each trip to the store usually involves some sort of incident like the hand sanitizer debacle yesterday, which is a story for another time.

I also feel like I’m not doing enough, especially for Rachel. She needs constant speech therapy, but I have never figured out how to be therapist and mother. She needs consistency and a firm routine. Not easy for the creative and scattered mind of her mama.

I need quiet, at least part of the day, or I cannot think straight. As it is, my brain is usually half lost in a project, and I have difficulty keeping my feet in both worlds. And neither remains dormant.

Here’s the interesting thing. This panicked feeling usually lasts until about the second week of summer. Then I adjust to the new routine and we have a great time.

In August I go through it all over again because my babies are back in school and away from me for most of the day.

I feel better just knowing what is bothering me. It’s like a weight has already been lifted. When the anxious feelings come, I think of the fun times we had last summer and focus there instead of worry that I will be so exhausted I will drop where I stand. And I remind myself to cherish each MOMent because they often pass too quickly.

How about you? Is your self conscious sometimes ahead of you?

| 3 comments | Tags:
« Older Entries